My MOACS

The journey between suspicion and diagnosis is isolating and frightening.

The withdrawal of my child into his own world induced the disconnect between myself and the life that I had envisioned. Everything changes, Autism is that invasive. Even things you thought would remain constant change. Sometimes, surprisingly for the better, but more often, not.

To those newly christened into the Autism community, one word of advice you will not necessarily find in books, surround yourself with a strong support group of friends who have children on the spectrum. Embrace your fellow MOACS (moms of autistic children). I wrote an article about this a few years ago for an Autism Magazine, TAP, and I tell you this is perhaps the most important piece of wisdom I have to save your sanity.

These ladies are my MOACS. They are the ones that understand what a bad day really entails. They understand the depth of despair, and the love needed to find your way back. They understand the silences, and the twisted humor that luminates those dark moments. When the children tantrum, rage, meltdown, their hearts find balance between the frustrations of the child, and the fragile nerves of the friend at wits end. They understand the battles fought in between the tables during CSE meetings, over the phone with insurance companies, behind closed doors with spouses, or with doctors who refuse to pay attention to a mothers concerns. Throughout it all, they coach, they advise, they research, they instruct, they draw out their own experiences and give you ideas, encouragement, information, and restore your faith so that you can continue to be the parent your children need you to be.

The power of friendship. Social Skills, my friends, social skills.......

Today I held a MOAC lunch at my house. One of the ladies was vacationing, hopefully having the best time with her family on the "happiest place on the planet"...The 3 of us that were left behind however, spent a few good hours laughing hard, eating well, and reconnecting.

The journey from diagnosis on is challenging. But along the way, in the most unexpected places, I have been awed by so many moms who are as unique as the children that inspire them. Talented moms who have used their creativity, compassion, love and intelligence to humanize the awareness movement, in their own way, and in the process remind everyone we are all worthy, we all deserve a chance to reach our potential..I have had the great fortune of expanding my circle of friends to include moms whose enthusiasm and energy have motivated me as much as a jolt of Cuban coffee, hard core Cuban coffee....Who lovingly push me out of my comfort zone and make me try new things....I am no longer isolated, and while there are still fears, I have hope, simply because I am in the company of strong, loving, intelligent, innovative, insightful, passionate, hilarious, gracious women. Beautiful.

The power of loving a child.