Labor Pains......

I was born in the Spring, but there is no doubt that I am a child of summer. Somewhere in my DNA, there are palm trees and ocean shores deeply intertwined within my genetic makeup.....
I suspect that would make me genetically predisposed to summer in the way that many suggest my son was predisposed to Autism...(sarcasm)....but the therapeutic effects of the ocean kissed air, the sounds of the waves against the shore, the sun that rubs up against your skin like a first love, making you feel young again, are soul soothing...

Labor day is bittersweet for me. While I'm ready to send the boys off to school, I'm not ready to see the summer refashion itself into autumn.....I'm not ready to let it go. The sky is at it's most spectacular in the summer....every hue of brilliant blue taking turns as the days deepen....the warmth, the sunshine, the complexion of summer..it's abounding colors everywhere, on the leaves on the trees, on lawns, flowers hanging from porches, outlining driveways and walkways......the farm stands....the kids on their bikes, on their skate boards..my kids jumping into the pool, into their childhood, full force, cannonballing it......It's not that I'm ever really ready to part with it, but with each passing year I find myself craving my season more...trying to hold onto youth? Onto it's palate? Onto the levity, or onto it's indulgent ways???? For whatever the reason, it doesn't slow any of this down. School life resumes, and September will be June before I have even digested the in between....and I would have gained another 12 pounds with that alone.....

I need for time to move slower. I need to be able to hold onto my boys longer. I feel it all slipping so quickly, too swiftly to make much sense of it at the moment. I thought at 42 I would have had a clue by now....but I should have known better, what with being clueless at 41 and all....It's not so much that I expected to catch up to time, but I was aiming for at least being in the same vicinity...at least the same zone...

I suppose I could make peace with the fall......but in the meantime, there are a few days left....like Sheryl Crow, "I want to soak up the sun"........and make the most of what we have left.......

3 days till the bus comes...............................................