Nena

Her favorite flowers were daisies, or "margaritas" as she would call them. Orange and yellow were the colors she was most drawn too. She would sip her Cuban coffee from an old dented tiny tin coffee mug all day long. Born in Orense, a tiny town in Galicia, Spain, she claimed Cuba her home. Her kitchen was legendary amongst her friends and family. Her character legendary within the circles she traveled. She was larger than life though she never made it to 5 ft. Had she predated Napoleon, he would have carried her complex, instead of the other way around. Her cocktail of choice was Pernod with orange juice, after a trip to Paris. She chased culture the way teenage boys chase girls, unabashed, unapologetic and at times a bit intimidated. She never allowed my brother or I to call her Grandma or "abuela" because she refused to grow old, and that was a title that made her feel old.

My grandmother would have been 94 years old today. Somewhere between her late seventies and very early eighties she must have developed the Alzheimer's that would eventually claim her life. I was born into a world where Alzheimer's existed alongside lullabies and fairy tales. My grandmother nursed her mother, who had quickly fallen into this affliction and so she was well aware of the steps leading to and the progression of Alzheimer's. When she secretly suspected she had it she began to give generalized answers, and skillfully distract us so that we wouldn't detect discrepancies in her behavior. She was fiercely bright and independent. My grandfather would play along and protect her. He always did. Unfortunately there is no alluding Alzheimer's, trickery soon falls short.

The irony was that 2 weeks after Gabe was diagnosed with Autism, both my grandparents were diagnosed with Alzheimer's, each on a different place on the spectrum. My grandfather was still mild, my grandmother, as always, far ahead of him.

I know I am not a scientist, or doctor, but there is no doubt in my mind, gut, heart, hell, every bit of my body, that our environment, our lifestyle effects our health perhaps even in a more pervasive way than out genetic predisposition to things....Our environment changes our genetics, our makeup. It's evolution. There is no alluding nature. If you mess with it, ultimately it will mess with you. We have seen auto immune disorders and diseases soar. We are in the middle of a global Autism epidemic. In this debate of health care, there should be a focus on lifestyle and the toxins thrown into the environment. Everything is so intertwined that if we are to fix one problem we need to open the discussion on contributing factors. The truth is, like a Russian doll, we are living organisms within living organisms, within living organisms, and our survival is dependent upon a balanced ecosystem. Despite being high on the food chain, the totem pole of life, ultimately we are all on equal ground, without one the others stop existing.

My grandmother lost her life after the ravages of Alzheimer's took it's toll. As she left , Hurricane Katrina hit hard and waged such a furious battle, 4 years later we are still recovering. This is what happens when the government doesn't respond as quickly and efficiently as it should, or when life and what could harm it, is overlooked. There's a pattern here.

It is easy for anyone that has never lost a loved one to Alzheimer's to dismiss it as an old persons issue, to forget that there is a vibrant, exceptional spirit trapped in a disintegrating brain. To this day I find notes stuffed in her old cookbooks describing the angst she felt knowing her fate. She knew there would be a moment in time that she wouldn't recognize us, her friends, her life...that she wouldn't be able to share and interact, that she would be left alone, behind and she also knew well the heartache that it would cause us all. Alzheimer's is cruel , unforgiving and devastating.
For years her parting words would always be "don't forget me, tell your kids about me, and how I loved them, and how they made me happy".....and on her death bed, after 3 years of not knowing who I was, she remembered, and desperately tried to tell me something, but the words failed her. I suspect she would have told me to make sure I take care of my mom, but more than that, to remember her as she was, vibrant, colorful, loving, intelligent, sharp, youthful, bossy, opinionated, religious, faithful, loyal, endearing.....

Her favorite time of the day was the sunset, when orange and yellow played in the sky...........
How I miss my Nena..........