Carlos

His long lazy curls swerve and rise like undulating playful waves racing to the shore. From the distance I can see the sun dancing on the surface of his silhouette, making little distinction between ocean and boy.
This child of mine is summer.

He bounces from moment to moment with ardent expectations only an almost 9 year old can have...chasing fireflies one minute, his older brothers the next, always on the hunt for fun. His presence lights up a room. His eyes quick to welcome you in on the joke..or the secret. His spirit always willing to embrace.

When he was a toddler, every Thursday there was a mothers support group at Gabe's Special Ed pre school, Just Kids. We were still in midst of the whirlwind of digesting the Autism/ADHD diagnosis. I was at the point of trying to wrap my head around what was actually happening to my child and what that meant to my family, while I was struggling to keep my heart together. On the ride home, from the back of the minivan, I would be serenaded by Carlos, not kid songs mind you, but whatever current pop song he had memorized....His first was "Since you've been gone" by Kelly Clarkson, sung with a smile and a uplifting beat....the way only he can do things,and every time he sang "ya, ya" with his facial expressions keeping pace with his head nods, I would be transformed, he was just so funny.....and so sweet....

I'm fortunate to have 3 boys. Here I am trying to teach them how to be independent free thinkers, kind, strong, compassionate individuals and the reality is that in the process it is these 3 boys who have taught me how to let my guard down, how to reach out, how to take chances, and most importantly how to trust my instincts and begin to forgive myself for my unforgiving list of imperfections......

Carlos is joy, he is warm, funny, mischievous, open, silly, full of life, full of wonder, willing to believe in just about everything and everyone. He loves with the same innocent endless enthusiasm as Christmas morning....and he runs with the same burst of energy as a summers rain.

I hear him laughing in the background, without a doubt his nose is scrunched up and his head is thrown back......all is light, all is bright, all is open....This child of mine is summer.