I don't know anything about Scientology. I don't know what it's like to be a celebrity, to be examined by a societal magnifying glass, or to have my privacy violated in the most intimate of moments. I don't know what it's like not to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills, or what it's like to live in homes, or vacation in places I couldn't wrap my head around it's beauty, or opulence.
But here is what I do know for sure. I know what it's like to love a child. I know what it's like to hold someone so tender, so tiny, so vulnerable and feel unbelievably blessed, profoundly grateful and joyous. That feeling of continuity......you, cradling, hovering, always cautious.....I know what it's like to want to create the best environment for your children, to want to make sure they are safe, they are healthy, they are happy......and I know what it feels like when your child starts to slip, and you begin to panic, and you take that child from professional to professional, and you spend hours filling out paperwork, looking through your calenders, documenting when a milestone was reached, and when it vanished. I know what it feels like to fall into a despair so great only your love for your child/children pulls you through. I know what it's like to not get the answers you need, to be in the midst of a mystery, and for every dismissive professional that really has no intention of looking into something further to tell you to institutionalize your child.
I know what it's like to pray for hope, because you just don't recognize it anymore. You lost sight of what hope should look like. I know what it's like to love a child the world might give up on, or think less of. I know what it's like to live with the fear that if something should happen to me, what will become of my special needs kid. I know what it's like to want to protect him from anything and anyone that could hurt him further. I know what it's like to demand that my child have a childhood too....
So while I don't know John Travolta, or his world, or his religion, I do know why he felt the need to protect his son.
Within the Autism world there was great criticism and debate way before Jett's tragic death on the way John Travolta handled his son's diagnosis. The Travolta's never admitted their son's Autism, they said he had developmental delays due to Kawaski Disorder, and he suffered from seizures. For those of us who love and struggle with our ASD kids, it was difficult to see something so obvious, and be fed something so different. A respected and loved celebrity like Mr. Travolta could have done wonders to help raise awareness sooner. The forgotten fact when you are so invested in finding ways to educate a public and get help for your kid is that every one is entitled handle this diagnosis in a very personal and private way. While it's human for us to have wanted Mr. Travolta to come out, it was unfair of us to expect him to do so. His son was diagnosed at a time when there wasn't the support there is today. A support bought about because so many parents were courageous, fought hard and never gave up on their kids or their place in this world. But our worlds are different, and they are parallel, and what he could afford to do to make sure his son had the best care, the best of everything, is not something that most of us are privileged with. So we have to keep pushing and keep demanding our childrens rights be met. That's our fight, and whoever wishes to join, is always welcomed and appreciated. However, those who prefers to handle things more privately should be respected.
My heart breaks for this family. The absolute love between father and son, the gentle way they held each other, is clear. While we let go and bury many dreams and visions of what could have been, what should be, when we receive our diagnosis, the Travoltas ultimately had to bury their son.
We fortunate ones, who can cradle and hover over our sons and daughters, need to kiss and hug them, and then get back to work......When our children age out of the system, it's a whole new world, and those that want to see change for the better, better start demanding real change......
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