A night at the ER......

Mothers of children with special needs are often accused of putting one child's issues ahead of an entire family. It's easy for the outside world to make such declarations when all they see are moms fighting for their child's rights, medical, educational, social, etc..etc....but it wasn't too long ago when the very thought process was to blame the mother for her child's autism, claiming her frigidness deterred her child from learning how to connect....Refrigerator moms....either way you slice it you are the star subject of every person laying on a therapists couch....what is perceived, how it's perceived is very subjective...but here is a fact...We mothers of special needs children believe all our children are equally special....and while it might take a tremendous amount of research and work to raise one child in particular, it by no means strips the importance or the intense unconditional love felt for her other children.

This past Wednesday I ran to the Pediatric ER at Stony Brook Hospital with my youngest in hand. He had suddenly developed a very high fever, chest pain, neck pain and a severe migraine. A call to the doctor's hotline confirmed what I knew in my gut...this was disquieting, this was looking pretty serious, this needed immediate medical attention. The idea that they had to rule out meningitis, bacterial and viral, jolted me to the reality that my "typical "child is as vulnerable as my ASD child, that being typical doesn't spare or save you, and I was terrified.
My vibrant boy now limp and barely able to move his head was quickly moved into a private room, a team of nurses and doctors decending on him, connecting him to an IV full of very strong antibiotics, blood drawn and preparations made for a Lumbar Procedure...a spinal tap.....He, just 9 years old, so thin and lithe....laid quietly trying to contain the pain in his head. I, not so quiet, stood heavier than usual, desperately trying to convert the fear into positive energy. He was admitted after the initial tests, they needed to run a few more cultures to rule things out.

Now, to everyone that did not know I could have been a mother to any more children, I was complimented on the keen eye I kept on the meds, the reactions, the time to call to have them changed....They called me Doctor Mom and Mama Bear. They were impressed that I not once had dozed off....when they came in through the night I was there, vigilant, keeping watch.

By the following afternoon we were discharged with explicit instructions and a doctors follow up visit confirmed. Luckily it was not meninghitis. of either kind, and while there was still a viral infection and fever worring them, it wasn't enough to justify another nights stay. The following day at the doctors, it was found that he also had STREP, which is now being cared for...Dr. Mom is in full swing.

All those years dispensing vitamins and supplements to all my boys....watching what they eat, making sure thier diet is predominantly organic and balanced.....What I learn from raising Gabe I immediately apply to Will and Carlos. What I learn from loving these 3 boys, well, that gets applied just about everywhere else......Love, like knowledge, has a ripple effect to it.......

My only complaint is this......I spent 17 hours in the Emergency room and not once did a George Clooney Dr. Ross look a like, or a Dr. Mc Dreamy or a Dr. Mc Steamy show up.....not once!!!! Instead I was treated to poor sleep deprived talking fetuses that followed thier leader and tried to answer the questions thrown at them.....It is a teaching hospital.....I hope part of the lesson taught is that with caring for life, it's important how we treat one another......That the individual doesn't get lost in the diagnosis........With Mama Bear next to her cub, they watched what they said....

Those of us who love and care for people who the world insists upon treating like a diagnosis, this is exactly our concern. We want all our children to be valued for who they are. If we have to work a little harder to make connections, so be it.....It doesn't mean we love a child more or less, it means we know the value of each child, and each one is a labor of love.........

My baby is getting better.....his color is coming back, his head hurts less, and he wakes up smiling again........