Every 3 years, children who are classified and have an IEP (Independent Educational Program) are re-evaluated. Social history is retaken, IQ tests given, educational and language assessments are administered. Gabe's 3 years were up and he was given these tests. The result is a triennial meeting where we sit and discuss the outcome. Around a large table sits his 2 teachers, his 2 speech teachers, his reading teacher, his school psychologist, his occupational therapist and the special ed director. I take my place amongst the village is that is helping my child.
Every person who tested him had the opportunity to speak. He is doing far better than anyone thought he would have been some 5 years ago, but it is the future we look to, so it's revealed that the goal is to make him as independent as possible. The aide will gradually take a complete backseat. He is to be weened off. How long that takes depends on many factors, but middle school is only 18 months away and my guess is that they would like to see him independent by then.
The day after the triennial meeting Oprah made her big announcement. Holy crap....only 18 months to ween me off of my afternoon crutch, my self help guru, my chocolate and cocktails personified....who is going to redirect me?
Silly, isn't it? Yet, for the past 8 years not much has made sense to me. Oprah has taken her show on a road to self discovery and awareness, with an emphasis on community, kindness, empathy, I have been hooked ever since. I'm not saying every show, or every season is an aha experience, but I am saying without a doubt conversations that needed to get started, have. I'm saying that womens health, womens issues, world issues have taken the forefront in a way that really hasn't been dealt with before. While 60 minutes and other news shows, take an objective journalistic point of view, Oprah's show handled multifaceted issues regarding women with hard facts and respect towards the real emotions experienced by women, never reducing them to just statistics, never trivializing trauma. She pioneered a renewed interest in reading and pushed the value of education in a way that has never been seen before on a talk show. Talk became the operative word, a full blown verb. It's as though the show became a vehicle to enlighten an audience and offer a perspective many might not have had the opportunity to seek. The professionals she invited onto her show became celebrities in their own right. The power of Oprah really is the ability to share her enthusiasm for an elevated quality of life that comes from being connected to your surroundings, in a very real and honest way, never losing her humanity and always striving for ways we can be better. Do better. Are we doing our best, are we doing what we are meant to be doing? Are we meeting our potential? Are we present ? What do we know for sure? And for those of us who are still trying to figure it all out, we look towards Oprah for guidance. So an announcement like this is in many ways like the end of an era. Even if she would design a new talk show for her new network, this show, as we know it, still ends.
So, while Gabe's big task at hand is to begin the process of becoming self sufficient and independent enough as to not require an aide to help him redirect and regroup, my big task is to put everything I have learned into place. Gabe will be taught to advocate for himself. He will have to learn to keep up without having the extra support to fall back on. Now it's not the question if he just can't do it, it's the understanding that he can, and breaking it down into smaller steps so that he'll be able to manage it. Huge stride.
As for me, it's also about learning to advocate for myself. It's about finding the disclipine and courage to do better. It's about continuing to embrace the bigger picture while paying attention to the details that enhance life. It's about being open to change, and embracing the possibilites......
25 years, Oprah said 25 is the perfect number....I was born on the 25th.....maybe I should start betting on that number....................
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