Apparently we need a new position in this administration. We need a Behavior Specialist, one who can devise a national plan that we can use to modify the incredibly rude, arrogant and self indulgent behavior that we have been witnessing lately.
For those that do not have a child with special needs, a Behavior Specialist, a BCBA is called in when behaviors are coming undone. A FBA (Functional Behavioral Assessment) is done and a plan is put into place to help redirect and correct bad behaviors.....
For example, if a child on the spectrum threatened a teacher the way Serena Williams threatened the referee, in the real world of Autism, that child would have been put into either a restraining room (referred to as a quiet room) or would have been restrained with force. There would have been calls sent home, an assessment made and if the child is on meds, a call to the doctor and a re-evaluation of the meds taken. There would have been new goals set up, there would be a renewed emphasis in the reward system, there would be social stories.....
Serena was fined the maximum penalty, but despite poor sportsmanship can continue to play...and we are left to explain to our kids why that type of behavior isn't becoming.
If a child on the spectrum yelled out liar, lies to a teacher in the middle of a lesson, again, a child would not earn the reward they are working for, they will be given a social story about the incident, will have visual reminders of the rules of the classroom on hand. They will be given a stern warning, but having lost the right to earn a desired activity, it is that punishment that will sit with them. Senator Joe Wilson, in the middle of a Presidential Speech on Healthcare, a very important topic for most of us, decided to show the complete disrespect he holds for the office of Presidency and for the American people by heckling President Obama. No social story given to him, no losing a desired activity, no consequence, and no remorse. Amazing....
Now, if my son, for a second, got on stage and took the mic away from someone who had just won an award while she was giving an acceptance speech and went off the way Kenye West did, oh boy would he be in trouble. He would definitely not earn, he would definitely be reprimanded, there would be social stories, visual cues and reminders put into place, the communication book would be smoking.....Kenye did get booed, he did get ripped, but in the world of entertainment, where the only bad publicity is no publicity, you have to wonder just what gets done to shock, what gets done to stay on everyones minds, what gets done out of true passion. What is clear is that there is a total disregard and disrespect towards the art itself when this takes place.
Our expectations of the behaviors of those that have severe neurological & sensory issues are very different from the expectations we set for ourselves. Obviously we set these standards way too high for one segment of the population, and not high enough for the other. Our kids have to cope with real disabilities that challenge them constantly, and yet what we demand of them no longer holds true in the real world. How are we supposed to teach our ASD kids social skills when social graces are no longer valued? When they are not returned. We teach them to respect others and the favor is not returned. There are no real consequences to bad behaviors when it comes to typical kids or to celebrities, or authority figures of any kind, other than a boo or a look of disbelief. Yet, when our kids act out in a store, any mom with a special needs child can tell you we have gotten the looks and criticism thrown our way........
So here is what I propose....Everytime a Senator disrupts a President, I don't care if the President is a Democrat or a Republican, we hold the Senator accountable for his actions. There is a time and a place for a debate and if they weren't on vacation for so long, or gone campaigning most of the year, perhaps they could be present when session is on so that they could take up their concerns in a more respectful and thoughtful manner. Senator Joe Wilson, there will be a social story about manners and interrupting on your desk, along with visual reminders...you do not earn. The monies that lobbyists will pay you to support your re-election campaign could be donated to help fund...lets see.....how about Autism research, Alzheimers research, cancer research...or wait, what about healthcare....brilliant, it could go towards a Universal healthcare fund.....
Everytime an athlete, especially a well paid role model, throws a hissy fit and verbally threatens someone because they do not agree with a call, there should be a time out. You should have to sit out a game. You should also get a social story and visual reminders. You should not earn and the fine paid should go to a Boys and Girls club.
Everytime someone gets on stage and takes someone elses moment to shine away from them, they should be banned from award ceremonies for at least a year or 2. They should have to donate monies to the charity of the person who they disrespected. They too should get a social story and be put on a behavior modification plan. Sensitivity training to the max.
See the pattern? Social story, break it down into simplified small steps. Raise standards. Teaching respect falls short when all of this is dismissed within a few days....The lesson the kids learned lasts them a lifetime. The shock wears off and next time, it will be worse. Freedom comes with responsibilites. You have the right to voice an opinion but you do not have the right to be offensive about it. So how about a national "cuss jar" except it could be a bad behavior jar....and the penalities paid will go to do good....therefore consequence could turn into something positive.....And maybe somewhere down the line one way or another respect could be returned....
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